WALL·E

While watching WALL·E, I realized that the robots were more human than the humans. This is definitely a message movie, brought to you by none other than your friendly Pixar studio. Taking place somewhere around 800 years in the future, the film presents us with an Earth so polluted, so dried out, so carelessly left behind, that the Sun's rays struggle through the satellites and the yellow haze that encircle the globe. Skyscrapers of garbage rise side-by-side with city skyscrapers. It is a desolate, depressing sight. Not a human can be found. But before we humans skidaddled, we were thoughtful enough to leave machines to clean up our mess. And that is when we meet WALL·E, a Waste Allocation Load Lifter - Earth-class.

WALL·E's job is to scrape up heaps of garbage, compress them into large cubes, and then dispose of them in the neatest and cleanest way possible. In this case, he builds the aformentioned garbage skyscrapers. Every day, he dutifully cleans up the desolate area, usually bringing along his cockroach friend to keep him company. He carries a lunch box, not for food, but to collect items that he finds interesting (I particularly appreciated when he found a diamond ring in its case, disposed of the ring, and kept the velvet case instead). When he is done for the day, he returns to his "home," which is some sort of garbage truck. His nightly regimen includes studying his collected items and watching old musicals, listening to their love songs and studying their human behavior. All the while, you get the feeling that he is hopelessly and sadly alone.

But machines don't have emotions...right? Well, if not, WALL·E certainly gives the impression that he does. He is so easily relatable, and even if he completely lacks emotions, his solitude is palpable. Once the reconnaissance robot EVE (Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator) shows up, WALL·E seems to be genuinely joyful that he has a companion. EVE's mission is to search for life on Earth, and as she does, she and WALL·E form a bond that is manifestly and beautifully human. It's one of the sweetest, most touching screen romances that I've ever seen. And I know that sounds crazy.

The contrast comes when WALL·E and EVE return to the space station where all mankind now resides. People are brainwashed, enormously fat, and can not even walk. They travel around the ship in floating chairs, with interactive screens in front of their faces at all times, while advertisements from Buy N Large, the corporation responsible for both Earth's pollution and bringing humans into space, are fed through speakers. Yes, like I said, Pixar is making a statement about capitalism.

But beyond that, it's an adventure movie with a heart and a soul. I challenge anyone to keep a dry eye when WALL·E nurses an unresponsive EVE. Or when EVE thinks she has lost WALL·E forever. It's amazing that we can so easily grow to care for these two characters, who have no real faces or human voices. The comedy of the movie usually comes at the expense of the humans, who you shouldn't give up on too quickly. Though the messages of the film are cautionary, the film also allows a chance for redemption. Also of note: the space ship's main robot character is remarkably similar to HAL 9000 of 2001: A Space Odyssey. (Listen closely for that films theme music.) Disney/Pixar is warning us, indeed.

VERDICT:
WALL·E is a fascinating and touching movie, with very little dialogue, that portrays the most basic human emotions: love, loneliness, fear, happiness, and sadness. I'll be honest with you - I jerked a tear or two in some of the film's more emotional scenes. WALL·E is a Disney character for the ages - a true hero who chases love and ultimately helps out the human race. Disney/Pixar provides yet another example of why their films always appear to be superior: because these characters, no matter how mechanical, are able to speak to the audience's hearts and minds...a feat that too many filmmakers have replaced with hollow action and cheap sentimentality.

So should you spend your money? I would say that, with this movie, you can't go wrong. 9/10

Hancock

I could hear the sounds in my head: CRASH! KABOOM! BANG! WHOOOOPS! They sounded remarkably like a movie plot derailing from its tracks. Kinda like the train that drunken superhero John Hancock (Will Smith) crashes in order to save PR rep Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman). Follow this metaphor: if the train represents the plot, then Hancock himself represents the unnecessary plot twist. When Hancock steps in front of the train, it completely demolishes the locomotive and prevents it from any further smooth traveling. Not only was there so much more that the train could have seen, but the distance it had already traveled was just a happy buildup to a disaster waiting to happen.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, so let's shift it back. Hancock starts out with genuine comedic gold. That is, Will Smith portraying a curmudgeonly, inebriated superhero that leaves more damage in his wake than is necessary. When he stops three bank robbers in a high-speed car chase, he causes $9 million in damages to the city of Los Angeles. Therefore, in a unique spin on the superhero genre, he is actually an unwanted superhero, and he generally does not care about what or whom he saves.

Sample dialogue:
Jeering woman: "I can smell that liquor on your breath!"
Hancock: "'Cause I been drinkin', bitch!"

Then things take a turn. He saves idealistic PR rep Ray Embrey in the aforementioned train collision, for which Ray decides to repay Hancock by changing his public image from one of resentment to one of responsibility. When Hancock meets Ray's wife Mary (Charlize Theron), she gives him a strange, lingering look of...well, she looks like she knows something. Meanwhile, Ray decides to allow Hancock to be arrested for all his outstanding warrants in order to show the public that Hancock takes responsibility for his carelessness. Initially apprehensive, Hancock goes to jail and learns how to say "Good job" to policemen. After a few days, Ray's plan pays off when the LAPD calls on Hancock to stop a violent bank robber. He does...in a very Superman-ly kind of way. (There is even a sample of the Superman theme in this scene.) All of this setup is hunky dory, enjoyable, and even hilarious at times; although, I had a hard time forgiving the tasteless scene in which Hancock punishes a couple of cellmates who clearly don't know what he can do.

And then...it all comes crashing down. A little over halfway through, the plot twist arrives, and all that terrific buildup is rendered useless. Everything that follows it is melodramatic and cliche. Any time a movie shifts from comedy to drama at the midway point, it's a sign that something must have gone wrong somewhere in the writing...or maybe the directing. It almost seems that the second half of the movie could have also been funny, but it was acted straight. Every line, every facial expression, every lighting scheme - all shot as if the movie were a character drama. And I just don't understand why. I don't know why Hancock had to step in front of that train.

Theron can not play comedy, although her scenes with Bateman are especially good, considering the two have played a (slightly mismatched?) couple before in Arrested Development. Smith starts out as an unshaven slob, and when he cleans up he looks like...Will Smith in Independence Day. Or I Am Legend. Or I, Robot. After he loses the edge of the first half of the movie, he loses the interest of the audience. Bateman, too, goes from hilarious to sappy. But like I've already said, all these problems are brought on by the destructive revelation at the halfway point.

I suppose Hancock will open to big - maybe even huge - box office numbers. I concede that the moviegoing public's taste has degraded. I have a friend who dismissed my warnings by insisting that, "as long as we get to see Will Smith prancing around for a couple of hours and maybe a few car crashes and some pretty people on screen, it will be worth the price of admission. I don't want to think when I'm watching a movie." Okay, then. I suppose it has come down to a shallow appreciation for attractive movie stars and pointless special effects to please us. But even movies with pretty people and car crashes can be decent films - Wanted, for example. Hancock is just an exercise in frivolity - a movie that verges on insulting us with its ridiculous tone shifts and completely arbitrary explanations as to why the story backpedals for a good half hour. And the ending is so obviously a last-minute change brought on by unfavorable test audience reactions. I can just hear Joe Filmgoer saying, "Movies must end happily, dammit! This isn't real life!" Indeed, it isn't, Joe. Indeed, it is not.

VERDICT:
Hancock is not a good movie. If anything, it is merely a star vehicle for Will Smith, who is admittedly entertaining in, at least, the first half of the movie. It is a very short film - mercifully so. But it is weak - there is such promise in the setup that just is not delivered. The twist in Hancock is not the kind that delights with its unexpectedness - it is the kind that is added in an attempt to make the movie more than what it should be. Unfortunately, the sudden shift in tone snaps the film in two, and, like Hancock himself, leaves a messy trail of debris. Even a superhero couldn't save this disaster.

So should you spend your money?
Absolutely not. Don't shell out two gallons' gas worth of dough for this dreck. Don't pay for a disappointment. A very generous 4/10.

Wanted

All I knew going into this movie was what the trailer showed me: relentless action, a fish out of water becoming an assassin, Angelina Jolie in yet another bad ass role, etc. It wasn't much to go on. So I was actually pleasantly surprised by the overall plot and execution of Wanted. Directed by Russian-Kazakh filmmaker Timur Bekmambetov, the movie flows quite smoothly from Acts I, II, and III and never bores the audience.

And I could easily read the audience - far from bored. At one point, a frat-tastic gentleman behind me hollered, very enthusiastically, that "Damn, she's hot!" He was referring to Angelina Jolie, of course, and this particular incident happened during her full rear nudity scene. I suppose he was amped up by all the sound effects that nearly deafened us during the course of the film. Hell, he could have been trying to whisper to his buddy for all I know. Either way, the incident and its determinants perfectly encompass the elements of the genre that have become fodder for critics and delicious morsels of escapist absurdity for many viewers.

At any rate, the film's scenario concerns downtrodden "accounts manager" Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy, for whom I am gaining more and more respect) whose life, for lack of a better word, sucks. He's oppressed by his overweight boss (funny Lorna Scott), his best friend who clearly uses Wesley to feel good about himself (Chris Pratt), and his very hard to please girlfriend (Kristen Hager). Wesley is part of the corporate machine, and he doesn't feel like he's in control of his life. Luckily for him, a badass assassin aptly named Fox (Angelina Jolie) bounces into his life and whisks him away into the world of professional violence.

Fox brings Wesley to an assassination squad called The Fraternity, overseen by Sloan (Morgan Freeman as his usual calm-but-awesome self) and directed by some sort of magical loom, which directs the assassins to their next "hits." The Fraternity has recruited Wesley because someone named Cross (Thomas Kretschmann) is killing, one by one, all of The Fraternity's members. Since Wesley's dad was one of the best assassins in the world, Sloan believes that Wesley can be trained to the impossibly high standards of his father, making him a perfect weapon to destroy Cross. Trust me, all this makes more sense when you're actually watching the movie.

The movie is definitely nothing more than a well-made summer action popcorn flick. There are interesting bits about kill methods, such as "curving a bullet," and most of those interesting bits are straight out of the fictional world of Frank Millar's Wanted graphic novels - they can't possibly be real. However, although Jolie brings nothing new to the screen (she has very few lines and has played an assassin about three times now), McAvoy creates a memorable character in Wesley. At once dorky, witty, bored, awesome, dangerous, and scary, Wesley is easily relatable. McAvoy's American accent couldn't be better. Meanwhile, when Morgan Freeman says, "Shoot this muthafucka!" the audience will roar.

I don't know about most of you, but I'm getting somewhat bored with the summer fare. There are too many comic book/graphic novel adaptations. However, like I said, this one is well-done. If you're looking for an action-packed movie with big names that will make the popcorn go down easy, you've got a lot to choose from right now. I would recommend Wanted over, at the very least, The Incredible Hulk or Get Smart. But I guess it just depends on what you're into. Big green monster versus killing machine Angelina Jolie. Take your pick. Different strokes for different folks.

I also just want to quickly mention the trailers that are shown before Wanted. Not only is there a fanboy fantasy in the newest trailer for The X-Files: I Want to Believe (I'll probably be one of maybe 20 people to see that), but there's also a red-band trailer for Step Brothers. For those of you who don't know, a red-band trailer is one which has not been "approved for all audiences" - you know that green screen before a trailer? Well, unapproved ones have a red screen, meaning they did not go through the approval process, and therefore can feature whatever content the studio damn well pleases (like the f-bomb, nudity, violence, etc.). I thought it was interesting. I don't recommend seeing this movie for the trailers, however. Some of them looked dreadful (Death Race, anyone?).

VERDICT:
Wanted features what anyone could ask for in an R-rated escapist, mindless action movie: lots of people dying in various methods, blood splattering all over the place, a naked hottie for the overcompensating males in the audience to hoot and holler at, plenty of humor, and whathaveyou. In other words, it's basically a judgment call. I can't really tell you that it's a bad choice when so many people are interested in this kind of movie and it's really the only mainstream genre out right now. But what I can tell you is that this one is pretty darn entertaining, as far as they go. And it's got one thing that a lot of actioners don't: a memorable protagonist.

So should you spend your money? I'd say do a little research before you see it, but you'll most likely enjoy it. Unless you're looking for a deep philosophical message about life or have a cynical and jaded attitude towards the genre, go for it. 7/10