WALL·E

While watching WALL·E, I realized that the robots were more human than the humans. This is definitely a message movie, brought to you by none other than your friendly Pixar studio. Taking place somewhere around 800 years in the future, the film presents us with an Earth so polluted, so dried out, so carelessly left behind, that the Sun's rays struggle through the satellites and the yellow haze that encircle the globe. Skyscrapers of garbage rise side-by-side with city skyscrapers. It is a desolate, depressing sight. Not a human can be found. But before we humans skidaddled, we were thoughtful enough to leave machines to clean up our mess. And that is when we meet WALL·E, a Waste Allocation Load Lifter - Earth-class.

WALL·E's job is to scrape up heaps of garbage, compress them into large cubes, and then dispose of them in the neatest and cleanest way possible. In this case, he builds the aformentioned garbage skyscrapers. Every day, he dutifully cleans up the desolate area, usually bringing along his cockroach friend to keep him company. He carries a lunch box, not for food, but to collect items that he finds interesting (I particularly appreciated when he found a diamond ring in its case, disposed of the ring, and kept the velvet case instead). When he is done for the day, he returns to his "home," which is some sort of garbage truck. His nightly regimen includes studying his collected items and watching old musicals, listening to their love songs and studying their human behavior. All the while, you get the feeling that he is hopelessly and sadly alone.

But machines don't have emotions...right? Well, if not, WALL·E certainly gives the impression that he does. He is so easily relatable, and even if he completely lacks emotions, his solitude is palpable. Once the reconnaissance robot EVE (Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator) shows up, WALL·E seems to be genuinely joyful that he has a companion. EVE's mission is to search for life on Earth, and as she does, she and WALL·E form a bond that is manifestly and beautifully human. It's one of the sweetest, most touching screen romances that I've ever seen. And I know that sounds crazy.

The contrast comes when WALL·E and EVE return to the space station where all mankind now resides. People are brainwashed, enormously fat, and can not even walk. They travel around the ship in floating chairs, with interactive screens in front of their faces at all times, while advertisements from Buy N Large, the corporation responsible for both Earth's pollution and bringing humans into space, are fed through speakers. Yes, like I said, Pixar is making a statement about capitalism.

But beyond that, it's an adventure movie with a heart and a soul. I challenge anyone to keep a dry eye when WALL·E nurses an unresponsive EVE. Or when EVE thinks she has lost WALL·E forever. It's amazing that we can so easily grow to care for these two characters, who have no real faces or human voices. The comedy of the movie usually comes at the expense of the humans, who you shouldn't give up on too quickly. Though the messages of the film are cautionary, the film also allows a chance for redemption. Also of note: the space ship's main robot character is remarkably similar to HAL 9000 of 2001: A Space Odyssey. (Listen closely for that films theme music.) Disney/Pixar is warning us, indeed.

VERDICT:
WALL·E is a fascinating and touching movie, with very little dialogue, that portrays the most basic human emotions: love, loneliness, fear, happiness, and sadness. I'll be honest with you - I jerked a tear or two in some of the film's more emotional scenes. WALL·E is a Disney character for the ages - a true hero who chases love and ultimately helps out the human race. Disney/Pixar provides yet another example of why their films always appear to be superior: because these characters, no matter how mechanical, are able to speak to the audience's hearts and minds...a feat that too many filmmakers have replaced with hollow action and cheap sentimentality.

So should you spend your money? I would say that, with this movie, you can't go wrong. 9/10

Kung Fu Panda

The trend with recent animated flicks is for them to be cute, with lots of camouflaged adult humor, and to provide an uplifting message for the youngsters to take away. Kung Fu Panda follows that trend. It is adorably uplifting, and so funny in parts that I had to stifle a few snorts. (Yes, I'm dead serious.)

Okay, sure. It's geared at kids. And don't get me wrong - it's a terrific kids movie. And it does teach a great (although a little tired) lesson: We should all believe in ourselves. But the best part of the movie is the journey to that message. It's so much fun. And the animation itself is flawless. Jack Black's terrific voice acting provides much of the humor, but there are also sight gags, situational ironies, and perfectly executed sound effects (especially in the slow motion bits) that add to the comedy.

Set in ancient China, the oddly-titled film concerns Po (Black), a panda bear who is quite obviously adopted by his noodle-making father - a goose. But Po doesn't love noodles...he loves Kung Fu! In the meantime, Oogway (Randall Duk Kim), the wise tortoise of Jade Palace, has had a vision that the powerful and crazy Tia Lung (Ian McShane) will escape from prison and destroy the entire nearby village. He must, therefore, choose the next great Dragon Warrior to defeat Tia Lung. Among the potential title-holders are five students of Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman): Master Monkey (Jackie Chan), Master Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Master Viper (Lucy Liu), Master Mantis (Seth Rogen), and Master Crane (David Cross). In a funny mixup involving fireworks, Po himself is chosen by Oogway.

This leads to Shifu's outrage and the Kung Fu Masters' befuddlement, as Po is too fat to even climb the stairs to the Kung Fu temple. But, as these kinds of movies go, Shifu discovers Po's hidden talents. And so forth goes the film.

It's truly entertaining to watch all the martial arts action in Kung Fu Panda. A friend of mine noticed certain allusions to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, particularly with the fast and loose liberties the film takes with the laws of physics. I wouldn't go so far as to say that the film is one of the better kid-flicks I've seen in a long time, but I would say that it's probably the funniest and most engaging animated movie I've seen in the last year or two.

VERDICT:
I really liked this movie. Sure, it's a kids movie. And yes, it's animated. But it's creatively fun and funny. And it's cool to watch all the awesome martial arts effects. So in a way, it's hard to review this movie. I don't want to just say, "It was cute." But I also don't want to be too tough on it. In the end, I'll just say that I was fairly entertained, and it was a pretty good way to pass a (sober) Friday night.

So, should you spend your money? If you're into animated, kid's, or non-offensive movies that provide enough adult humor to keep you from pulling out your hair, YES. If you're not, SKIP IT. 8.5/10.